Difficult Conversations
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Difficult Conversations
We know we must talk to a colleague, our boss or even a friend about something we know can be at least uncomfortable and at worst explosive. So we repeatedly mull it over until we can no longer put it off, and then finally stumble through a confrontation when we could have had a conversation. This work focuses on handling these exchanges.
Difficult Conversations, written by Bruce Patton, Douglas Stone, and Sheila Heen, is an indispensable guide that provides readers with the skills needed to navigate life's most challenging conversations effectively. The 10th anniversary edition of this classic guide, enriched with insights from 15 years of research at the Harvard Negotiation Project, equips us with the tools necessary to transform potentially explosive confrontations into productive dialogue.
The book meticulously breaks down the complexities involved in difficult conversations, revealing the hidden structure underlying every exchange. The authors introduce a unique framework that categorises these conversations into three distinct, yet intertwined, dialogues: the 'what happened' conversation, the 'feelings' conversation, and the 'identity' conversation.
The 'what happened' conversation involves understanding the differing perceptions of the facts and events. Readers learn to navigate this aspect by recognising that each party believes they are right, thus shifting the focus from blame to understanding each other's viewpoints.
The 'feelings' conversation addresses the underlying emotional currents and their impact on the individuals involved. The authors emphasise the importance of acknowledging and expressing emotions constructively rather than letting them fester or explode uncontrollably.
The 'identity' conversation delves into what the conflict means for our sense of self and how it affects our perceptions of our integrity, competence, and worthiness. By exploring these three dimensions, Difficult Conversations offers a comprehensive approach to managing personal and professional exchanges with grace and efficacy.
Whether it's asking for a pay rise, refusing additional work, requesting a favour, or issuing an apology, this book provides practical advice and real-world examples to help readers approach these scenarios with confidence and poise. Its time-tested strategies and techniques empower individuals to handle any conversation, no matter how difficult, with insight and empathy.
Difficult Conversations has earned its place as a business classic, not only for its depth of research and practical guidance but also for its profound impact on improving communication and relationships. For anyone looking to enhance their conversational skills and build stronger, more honest connections, this book is an essential resource.
Book Hero Magic summarised reviews for this book. While it's new and still learning, it may not be perfect - your feedback is welcome! HOW HAS THIS BEEN REVIEWED?
Difficult Conversations by Bruce Patton, Douglas Stone, and Sheila Heen is praised for providing practical advice on handling challenging discussions with empathy and clarity. Reviewers highlight the book's effective frameworks and real-life examples, making it a valuable resource for personal and professional use. It is often noted for its accessible writing and useful insights into communication skills.

Book Details
INFORMATION
ISBN: 9780670921348
Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd
Format: Paperback / softback
Date Published: 03 November 2011
Country: United Kingdom
Imprint: Penguin Books Ltd
Contributors:
- Foreword by Roger Fisher
Audience: General / adult, Tertiary education, Professional and scholarly
DIMENSIONS
Spine width: 21.0mm
Width: 129.0mm
Height: 198.0mm
Weight: 245g
Pages: 352
About the Author
Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen work for the Harvard Negotiation Project at Harvard Law School.
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