Boundaries

Are Your Boundaries Being Violated?

Boundaries separate us from others physically and emotionally. In fact, they are essential for our mental and physical health as well as for developing healthy relationships. Yet every day, people's boundaries are violated by friends, family, or coworkers. Despite the importance of personal boundaries, many people are unaware of how or when these very important lines are crossed.

Which of the following are boundary violations?

Esther tells Betty a secret Mary told her.
Your therapist invites you to go for coffee.
Your boss wants to know the details of your personal life.
Your boss asks you if you'd like a hug.
Mom tells little Debbie about her troubles with Dad.
Your new neighbour pats you on the bottom as he turns away.
Your mother makes a comment about your being overweight.

All but one of the above incidents violate boundaries (your boss asks you if you'd like a hug).

In Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin, Anne Katherine explains what healthy boundaries are, how to recognise if your personal boundaries are being violated, and what you can do to protect yourself.

For anyone who has walked away from a conversation, a meeting, or a visit with others feeling violated and not understanding why, this is a book that can help.