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First Comes Love

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( 224 ratings, 35 reviews)
Book Hero Magic crafted this summary to help describe this book. While it's new and still learning, it may not be perfect - your feedback is welcome! Summary
First Comes Love explores the complex institution of marriage beyond traditional norms. Author Tom Rasmussen, from a Northern, working-class background and identifying as a male-bodied, non-binary queer person, examines marriage as an achievement, compromise, selling-out, and practical solution. Traversing diverse weddings, interviews, and personal reflections, the book questions why marriage remains compelling despite its roots in patriarchy, elitism, and exclusivity. It offers an incisive, witty, and compassionate look at love and matrimony across sexuality and class, considering marriage’s future in contemporary society.
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Format: Paperback / softback
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Book Hero Magic created this recommendation. While it's new and still learning, it may not be perfect - your feedback is welcome! IS THIS YOUR NEXT READ?

This book is ideal for readers interested in contemporary discussions about marriage, queer perspectives on love, and social change. It will resonate with those questioning traditional institutions or seeking a thoughtful examination of relationships across class and sexuality in modern Britain.

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Book Hero Magic formatted this description to make it easier to read. While it's new and still learning, it may not be perfect - your feedback is welcome! Description

Bitingly funny, infectiously inquisitive and ferociously sharp. Adored! ATTITUDE

A fascinating interrogation GRAZIA

An incisive, witty and moving look at marriage - as an achievement, a compromise, a selling-out, a practical solution REFINERY29

It was one thing to get married when your parents, your neighbours, your community insisted on it, when a sacred union for heterosexuals was not just one option but the only option. It’s quite another to keep doing it when free of that societal and religious pressure. What is the allure of an institution grounded in patriarchy, in elitism, in white supremacy in the West, an institution that invalidated all but one kind of love till quite recently? Why do so many of us fight against these social ills while also posting pictures of proposals on Instagram? Is it possible to be married while subverting the institution by doing it one’s own way, or is marriage having the last laugh after all?

Tom Rasmussen comes from a Northern, working class family, for whom marriage is the centrepiece of life. They are also a male-bodied, non-binary queer person in a relationship with a man.

Journeying through wildly different weddings, visits to wedding planners, interviews with the much-married, those who have questioned their decision to marry, and those who would never consider matrimony, First Comes Love is an incisive, witty and moving look at marriage - as an achievement, a compromise, a selling-out, a practical solution. Tom Rasmussen examines what marriage means across the spectrum of sexuality and class, and what the future looks like for this most historic and universal of institutions.

An incisive, compassionate probing of the pleasures and pitfalls of marriage ... A deft deconstruction of normativity today DAZED

Tom Rasmussen is a smart and accomplished storyteller ... Anyone - queer or straight - who's considering marriage, or for that matter anyone who's deeply in love should read this unputdownable book KATE BORNSTEIN

I love Tom Rasmussen and adore their writing TRAVIS ALABANZA

An interrogation and an investigation ... A deeply funny and optimistic read JUNO ROCHE

Book Hero Magic summarised reviews for this book. While it's new and still learning, it may not be perfect - your feedback is welcome! HOW HAS THIS BEEN REVIEWED?

First Comes Love has been praised as "bitingly funny, infectiously inquisitive and ferociously sharp" (ATTITUDE), and a "fascinating interrogation" (GRAZIA). Readers and critics highlight Tom Rasmussen as a "smart and accomplished storyteller" whose work is "unputdownable" and recommended for anyone deeply in love or considering marriage (Kate Bornstein). The book is described as "an incisive, witty and moving look at marriage" (REFINERY29) and noted for its compassionate probing and deft deconstruction of normativity (DAZED). It is celebrated for being a deeply funny, optimistic, and ultimately moving exploration of marriage today.

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Book Details

INFORMATION

ISBN: 9781526653154

Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing PLC

Format: Paperback / softback

Date Published: 21 July 2022

Country: United Kingdom

Imprint: Bloomsbury Publishing PLC

Audience: General / adult

DIMENSIONS

Spine width: 18.0mm

Width: 128.0mm

Height: 196.0mm

Weight: 200g

Pages: 288

About the Author

Tom Rasmussen is a Northerner based in London. When out of drag, they are contributing editor at Dazed Beauty, LOVE Magazine and Refinery29, and a regular contributor to the Independent and i-D. Their work has also been featured in Vice, Broadly, Tank and the Gay Times. In 2018 they were named an LGBT trailblazer by The Dots and one of the voices of now for i-D. Tom also forms half of the radical queer punk band ACM. Their first book, Diary of a Drag Queen, was longlisted for the Polari First Book Prize 2020. They live in London.

@tomglitter

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