Brutal

SHORTLISTED FOR The Sunday Times Sports Book Awards 2025 Autobiography of the Year

'Lays bare the realities of a sporting career' - Lord Sebastian Coe

'Gripping, revealing and honest' - Steve Cram OBE

'A gripping read ... Iwan runs and runs and runs, and arrives at himself' - Jeremy Vine

Running has been Iwan Thomas’s life. He put everything into becoming and remaining an elite athlete to such a point that his efforts left him scarred.

Iwan reveals the highs of his career, but also his battles with the dark side of running – the loneliness, the doubts, the hurt and, ultimately, the serious mental health issues.

After a youthful stint as a world-class BMX rider, Iwan dedicated himself to running. Between 1995 and 1998, he became one of the world’s fastest men, taking silver in the 4x400m at the Olympics and gold at the European and World Championships. Yet, although his British 400m record of 44.36s would stand unbroken for 25 years, niggling injuries were already beginning to limit his ability to compete with the best.

His response to setbacks had always been to train even harder, but this was no longer an option. Without the structure of training, the motivation of competition and the buzz of race day, Iwan struggled. He suffered an extended period of anxiety and depression, before eventually coming to terms with his life as a former athlete.

In this deeply reflective, utterly engaging and sensationally open book, Iwan shares an absorbing, sometimes uncomfortable, but totally memorable story, and finally reveals the truth behind his life in sport.