Directions to Myself

In this honest and provocative book, Heidi Julavits examines gender, power, and sexuality, engaging with a debate which has never been more relevant than it is today.

How can a mother know her son will not grow up to be a rapist?

How can a mother know her son will not be falsely accused of being a rapist?

How can a mother reshape the power relations of men and women as she raises her son?

Transfixed by a very public rape case on a college campus, Heidi Julavits was spurred into examining her role as a parent, and the rituals that exist between men of all ages. Following the case closely, she watched as it boiled down to a stalemate of He-Said-She-Said. Julavits read all the evidence available and eventually concluded that neither of them were lying; both the man and the woman believed their version of events was the truth.

It is this conclusion that has led Julavits to investigate our approach to power, gender, and sexuality in this challenging, brave, and provocative book. This is a critical polemic for today—one mother’s intellectual and personal investigation of how best to raise her son, a future man and potential rapist.

Directions to Myself is a crucial read for anyone seeking to understand the complex dynamics of gender and power in contemporary society.